Great Parade in My Little Dirty Town of Belgrade

18 July 07

Belgrade was unusually foul-smelling today. As I was preparing to leave my home this morning, I was contemplating relieving my suffering by eating the mercury that was about to explode from the thermometer.

Nevertheless, I scrubbed the melted couch off my back and walked out downtown, sinking knee-deep into the asphalt.

But I made my way all the way to Kneza Miloša street. Which was unusually empty for that time of the day. But not unusually empty for the amount of police blocking the traffic into the street.

A hot day, the main Belgrade street blocked, a bunch of people looking curiously down the empty road. I had it all worked out.

Haile Selassie was going to drive through Belgrade in an open-top limousine.

I stood on the sidewalk proudly, waiting for the King of Africa and Asia to visit my little dirty town we all like to ironically call Belgrade1. The cop on the street had his eye on me, though:

— What the hell do you think you are doing? — he asked.
— I’m waiting for the King to come.
— What king? Elvis!?
— Wha…? No! What’s this fuss all about?
— It’s the Russians coming, boy! — the cop explained.
— The Russians? You mean… with katyushkas and stuff? Is this about Kosovo!?
— Katyushkas? What? — the youngster obviously didn’t see enough subversive WW2 films. — They are coming to play football.

Obviously I was way off. It still didn’t make much sense to me, not to mention that I was disappointed that neither Selassie nor Elvis were coming.

— All of this for a football team!?
— No. Duma, their parlaiment members are coming to play football, on Red Star’s stadium!
— Against Red Star? — A devoted Partizan fan that I sometimes claim to be, I was already rooting for Duma.
— If I wasn’t on duty I’d tell you off… No! They are playing against our parliament.
— Why?
— How the hell do I know why? — the cop started enjoying the conversation — All I know is that we shouldn’t win. Last thing we want to do is piss off the Russians, at this day and age! Good thing we have a pro-Russian far right nationalist for a goalie. That might save us!

Good thing indeed. The Serbian Parliament football team scored only two goals, which says: “We are a respectable country with a European future”, but it received nine, which says: “We will bend over and take it up our nationally awakened Orthodox asses2 any time of day!”

1 Means “White City”, probably from Slavic connection of colors and geography, and not anything to do with white supremacy.

2 Not that there is anything particularly wrong with taking it up one’s ass.


  1. Bogdan
    Jul 19, 04:30 PM #

    Slavic connection of colors and geography? well, originally, it was the Turkic connection, but the Slavs stole it from them!

  2. Dejan
    Jul 19, 09:13 PM #

    It seems I stand corrected. I have been a lot in the last couple of posts :) Thanks, Bogdan!

  3. Cvijus
    Jul 20, 09:09 AM #

    Ehmm, it was actually the Bulgarian connection (thus Slavic) as the name “Beligrad” appears for the first time in a letter of a Pope to the Bulgarian ruler in 878. Turks used to call Belgrade “Dar Ul Jihad” – The House of War, but after the Serbian Revolution they simpy called it Belgrat.

    PS – Great post Dejane.

  4. Dejan
    Jul 20, 02:21 PM #

    Resources I found say that the “connection” was brought to Europe from Asia via Turkic people.

  5. Cvijus
    Jul 21, 10:56 AM #

    Well, as I said, this connection firstly appeared in 878 in a letter of a Pope. At that time the Turkic people were far away from the Balkans. But nevertheless I’m interested in the sources you have Dejane.

  6. Dejan
    Jul 21, 09:18 PM #

    Cvijus, see this Wikipedia article for one (obviously, that’s not too reliable, but some of their sources say so).

    To the best of my knowledge, the Turkic people(s) were nomadic, so it’s not unplassuable that they didn’t bring it to Slavs.

    Anyway, talk to you all in a couple of weeks — I’m off to a cooler place :)

  7. Buntaro San
    Aug 17, 01:42 AM #

    It originates from the ancient Persians. White Russia, Black Sea, Red Sea, all have with geographical directions to do. Same for the white and red squares in Croatia’s coat of arms.

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